10 Things I Learned From: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

• If you are sassy enough (and/or the unrestrained ego of a clinically depressed teen), you can do anything, to anyone and not suffer the consequences.

• Parades have the most lax security of anything. Next Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade – bum rush that thang.

• The most serene place to sit and think is at the bottom of the pool. Until your douchebag best friend pulls you free, that is.

• Charlie Sheen, despite what he says, has never been winning. Just ask Jennifer Grey.

• Even then, Alan Ruck was the perfect person to play Thurston Howell III in a remake of Gilligan’s Island.

• Parents in 80’s movies are truly the dumbest creatures on Earth – even moreso than the current crop of Disney parents. Those coughs don’t even sound real enough to be made by a synthesizer.

• In the 80’s, you could touch underage school children in public, and no one would bat an eyelid.

• Stare at this too long, and you will go mad. It is a scientific fact.

• John Hughes had some sort of Electra Complex that needed to be worked out.

• The film, as a whole, is kind of overrated to me.