Today’s film is another in the long list of post Scream semi ironic horror films. In this one, however, the sides get flipped and hilarity ensues. Today’s film is Tucker and Dale Vs Evil.
Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine play the titular Tucker and Dale, two dopey rednecks living, as such characters would do, in the creepy south. One weekend, a group of college kids hit up the area for a weekend getaway – kids who have seen one too many slasher films, so instantly think that Tucker and Dale are gonna make comment on their real purty mouths. Of course, Dale’s severe inability to talk to the ladies make for the very worst of first impressions. Unfortunately for them, not only is their weekend of fishing, drinking and fun ruined when they end up at the same place as the kids (a creepy cabin that used to be owned by a psycho killer for them, and the nearby woods for the kids), who still think that THEY are backwoods killers; but those kids are the kinds of ADD riddled loons who think nothing of telling each other ghost stories, getting hyped up on the reefer and maiming and/or killing a couple of innocent, if dopey, rednecks whose only crime is being in the wrong place at the wrong time – over and over again. Needless to say, hilarity ensues, especially after one of the college kids ends up in Tucker and Dale’s shack.
Now, I’ve had bad luck with other movies that I have wanted to see based on title alone, but Tucker and Dale Vs Evil was slightly different for me. Because, as mentioned, the film stars Alan Tyduk and Tyler Labine, two guys who are brilliant in everything that I have seen them in (Labine in Reaper, and Tudyk in…well, everything). Both guys are, as always, hella likeable and have just awesome chemistry with each other (heck, it’s almost like two Tom Hanks’). In addition, they get to work with a pretty smart and funny script that has as many laughs and memorable scenes as the original Scream, particularly once the college kids start dying (but to say how would spoil the film, so I won’t).
The copy of the film that I came upon was a workprint, so there are a few CGI bit that haven’t been completed, but what surprised me is how little CGI was used in the film – it looks to be about 99% practical, which makes me smile. And, sure, there are a couple of musical stabs that you may recognise, but they actually fit really well. And, yes, for those observant of hearing, the Wilhelm Scream makes an appearance too.
All in all, I really dug this film.
One man's journey to watch and review a film a day. Join him, won't you?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I've Come To Suck...uh, Your Blood
Confession time - for all my "Rain Man of Movies" (© 2010, CM Jayden Productions) type behaviour - there are still a LOT of so called classic films that I have not seen. And let's face it, even I am highly doubtful that I could ever see more than, say, 20% of all movies ever made. However, I do try to get as many of them seen as I can, even if only so I can say "yeah, I saw that, it was crap!" But, there are a lot of classics which are classic for a reason - they are indeed actually good. For me, I've found that a lot of them come from the horror genre, and today's film is not different. Today's film is the original 1922 vampire classic, Nosferatu.
Based very tightly on Dracula[1], FW Murnau’s film deservedly can be called a classic; not only of filmed horror but also of German Expressionist filmmaking. Much like the other big expressionist films of the day (and non-expressionist films of the day, such was the form’s influence), Nosferatu plays more with the viewers expectations of horror, implying rather than directly showing the viewer what is going on. In addition, much as I have mentioned in other reviews of other films from that era, even when the action takes place on screen, the use of shadow goes a heck of a long way to increasing the atmosphere and overall feeling of unease.
Speaking of unease, you can’t talk Nosferatu without mentioning the performance of the man behind the mask, Max Schreck. Contrary to popular belief, the man was not actually a vampire, having a 15 year career AFTER this film before retiring from acting. That being said, his take on the Count (in this case, being named Orlock) is like nothing seen before, and only ever having been attempted twice since. Playing the count as less a man with an affliction and more some otherworldly nightmare goblin, Schreck strikes one of the most memorable figures in film history, one that will stick with you, regardless of the fact of if you have seen the film or not. And, while this is primarily Schreck’s show, he is only as good as his supports, with a number of worthy actors surrounding him, in particular Greta Schröder as Ellen Hutter (the Lucy of the piece). In addition to some wonderfully expressive performances from all, she manages to bring an innocence and tenderness that plays perfectly with Schreck, making for some wonderful scenes between the two.
Because this is a silent film, yes, there is a rather whimsical little score over the top. Much like the film Metropolis, it depends on what version you see as to what score you get, but any of the base versions that are publicly available should come with the original score, which help a heck of a lot in not only setting scenes, but implying motivation, feelings, character interplay and a whole host of things that can’t readily be fed to the audience without the use of the spoken word.
And, as a very special treat (also, because it is available as part of the public domain), I am going to give you the entire film to watch as you please – this is the original English print, so all characters have been renamed into their Dracula equivalents. Thanks go to the good folk over at Archive.org for this.
[1] In fact, some would go so far as to say that Nosferatu was stolen, nickel and dime, from Dracula since the estate of Bram Stoker would not let Murnau have the filming rights to the book. So, he did what any enterprising director would do in such a situation – he changed all the characters names and made it anyway, claiming that it was based on a completely different vampire tale. And, since Stoker had not invented the concept of vampires, he could get away with it…up to a point. He did, however, change the ending, thus giving us the now popular vampire lore that sunlight is lethal to them.
Of course, with history being what it is, we can all admit that “yeah, Nosferatu IS Dracula”.
Monday, April 25, 2011
In Which The Author Muses On The Film Paul
Let me just say, first things first, that I am the target audience for today’s film. I’m a sci-fi nerd, I’m a dork, I love me some Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and every member of the supporting cast fills me with joy. Instead of crapping on, let’s just get to it – today’s film is Paul.
Pegg and Frost (assuming their usual task of writers and stars) play Clive Gollings and “the author” Graeme Willy, two comic artists from the UK who are in the US for ComiCon. Following their trip to Nerd Mecca, they take a road trip across the US, planning to hit all the major UFO hotspots. Things go awry when they actually run into an alien named Paul (and voiced by Seth Rogen) who convinces them to take him to a certain well known mountain (especially if you have seen Close Encounters Of The Third Kind) so he can finally leave Earth. Along the way, our merry band accidentally kidnap Ruth (Kristen Wiig) a rather religious young lady who’s faith get shattered by Paul’s existence and cross paths with government agents Zoil, Haggerty and O’Reilly (Jason Bateman, Bill Hader and Joe Lo Trugio, respectively) who have been enlisted by The Big Guy (telling you would be a spoiler) to get Paul back. Hilarity most definitely ensues, along with some rather hilarious nods to some rather popular Sci Fi films.
The big question is, “is this film as good as Shaun of The Dead or Hot Fuzz?” and I will answer honestly – no, no it’s not. But it does come close in several places. What you have to realise, though, is that this is a different beast to those films – while they were quintessentially British takes on established “American” genres, Paul is a film that takes place in the US in which the two main (human) protagonists just happen to be British, but their nationality makes no ultimate bearing on the plot or their reactions to what happens around them. Plus, the fact that the film is directed by someone other than Simon and Nick’s “usual guy” (Greg “Superbad” Mottola rather than Edgar Wright, who was off doing Scott Pilgrim at the time) helps to give Paul a different feel than their earlier team-ups.
However, do not let that steer you away – as Paul is a mighty fine film in its own right. Yes, it does start off a little slowly before the introduction of Paul himself (although there are plenty of good natured laughs to be had at the nature of Cons and small town USA), but once the plot kicks in, it is a fun, funny and charming ride to the end. This comes not only from the charm of the three main leads (it’s kind of nice to see a CGI character that the IRL human leads deal with as an actual character and not just a ping pong ball on a stick) but also that of the secondaries, in particular SNL alums Wiig and Hader. Wiig, especially, getting to play against her usual SNL type (Ruth’s introduction to the world of swearing always brings the laughs).
In Paul, Pegg and Frost have crafted a film that is more than worthy to stand alongside Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz.
Pegg and Frost (assuming their usual task of writers and stars) play Clive Gollings and “the author” Graeme Willy, two comic artists from the UK who are in the US for ComiCon. Following their trip to Nerd Mecca, they take a road trip across the US, planning to hit all the major UFO hotspots. Things go awry when they actually run into an alien named Paul (and voiced by Seth Rogen) who convinces them to take him to a certain well known mountain (especially if you have seen Close Encounters Of The Third Kind) so he can finally leave Earth. Along the way, our merry band accidentally kidnap Ruth (Kristen Wiig) a rather religious young lady who’s faith get shattered by Paul’s existence and cross paths with government agents Zoil, Haggerty and O’Reilly (Jason Bateman, Bill Hader and Joe Lo Trugio, respectively) who have been enlisted by The Big Guy (telling you would be a spoiler) to get Paul back. Hilarity most definitely ensues, along with some rather hilarious nods to some rather popular Sci Fi films.
The big question is, “is this film as good as Shaun of The Dead or Hot Fuzz?” and I will answer honestly – no, no it’s not. But it does come close in several places. What you have to realise, though, is that this is a different beast to those films – while they were quintessentially British takes on established “American” genres, Paul is a film that takes place in the US in which the two main (human) protagonists just happen to be British, but their nationality makes no ultimate bearing on the plot or their reactions to what happens around them. Plus, the fact that the film is directed by someone other than Simon and Nick’s “usual guy” (Greg “Superbad” Mottola rather than Edgar Wright, who was off doing Scott Pilgrim at the time) helps to give Paul a different feel than their earlier team-ups.
However, do not let that steer you away – as Paul is a mighty fine film in its own right. Yes, it does start off a little slowly before the introduction of Paul himself (although there are plenty of good natured laughs to be had at the nature of Cons and small town USA), but once the plot kicks in, it is a fun, funny and charming ride to the end. This comes not only from the charm of the three main leads (it’s kind of nice to see a CGI character that the IRL human leads deal with as an actual character and not just a ping pong ball on a stick) but also that of the secondaries, in particular SNL alums Wiig and Hader. Wiig, especially, getting to play against her usual SNL type (Ruth’s introduction to the world of swearing always brings the laughs).
In Paul, Pegg and Frost have crafted a film that is more than worthy to stand alongside Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Satan's School For Thinly Veiled Quasi Homosexuality
It’s time, once again, to dip into that hideous pile of public domain suck. No, not my Mill Creek boxes, rather the films that I buy for a buck at Crazy Clarks (the Australian equivalent of The Dollar Store). You know the kind of films; the ones that actual name actors did either early in their career, or for a paycheck; or the ones featuring a cast so obscure that not even they know who they are. Sure, you will occasionally find gold, or something that came out of left field to be actually good, but it’s mostly crap. So much so, that the last 4 films I watched from that pile, I willingly tossed out after I’d watched them. Anyhoo, today I’m going to watch a film that has been sitting in the pile for damn near 8 months now, and since I’ve been trying to cut said pile down, I figured I would watch it. Today’s film is a low budget Eastern European filmed and funded horror flick called Talisman (what kind of trouble can we get in with this? Let’s just say that the director on IMDB is NOT the director listed on the opening credits).
I’ll be reviewing it Stream of Consciousness style. So hang on.
The best company stinger since Wiseau Films...No expense spared on these credits, or what seems to be the school from Total Eclipse of The Heart..yeah, this will end well...At least the school has a subway station in its basement...UNCLE FESTER!!! WHY?????????????????????????...and why does your fire sound like a drill?...Yeah, this is one of those “not even we know who we are” casts...and it sounds like someone set their keyboard to “low budget Gothic RPG battle scene”...Viorel Sergovici Jr: that’s not a name, that’s cheating at Scrabble...and there goes the special effects budget...Now the movie can begin...
Meanwhile, in season one of The X Files...it’s another kid doing the same run to the same creepy school – this is gonna end well...BLACK RANGER ALERT!!!!...And he says “shit”, he is the designated black man at this school...oh, so it’s a school for troubled loners...and the main character seems to be some sort of a Mexican...Jake Fine? Elias Storm? Was this film written by a 13 year old?...Ohai, rich, white bad guy bully types...Oh, of course the white guy gets called a “stormtrooper”...And your headmistress, mysterious Lady Von Dracula (seriously, it’s like they got one of every country in this film, it’s like the Olympics of Bad Film Making)...and sexy daughter is off-limits – yeah, that’s not gonna last...mmm, stock footage, it helps move a film along...
WHY IS THERE A FLASHBACK? We know the kid has problems – don’t you DARE turn into Zombie Nation...at least the cemetery looks suitably creepy...yeah, no good can come from digging a talisman up from a grave...cannibus leaves, salt, sulphur, blood of a female virgin (implied that of a baby) and secret words – yeah, shit is NOT gonna end well for ol’ Elias Storm...Oh Elias, don’t go going up to the private rooms, even though Jake told you exactly where there are...seriously, this is the film version of Total Eclipse of The Heart (and yes, Arthur Fonzarelli’s got an army of clones)...this film has way too much implied teen homosexuality – it’s all tighty whiteys and gym socks...
Ohai, creepy yet seductive daughter – I bet you are a vampire, or at the very least, mighty evil...yes, tell us about your nightmare...take THAT, god...so, apparently, we have taken a dive into the philosophical...ohai, implied incest...ohai, nameless white sidekicks, you are going to get killed off very quickly, aren’t you?...yes, yes you are...note to self – never follow strange, sexy moans into the basement of ANYWHERE in Europe...so, apparently the big look among creepy yet seductive daughters is a fivehead and hair modelled on Darth Vader’s helmet...hearts on fire!!!....Black Ranger is such a pussy that he is either going to die, or be the sole survivor...SCIENCE DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY...but flashbacks do...
For such a big college, it makes me wonder why it only has like 7 students and one teacher...food fights DO NOT include stabbings, silly Elias...ohai, Doctor Creepy – of course you are a doctor of theology, so you’ll know EXCATLY what Elias is all about...and yes, Elias has an insane, demon worshipping uncle – which makes him, you know, for the children...you are all doomed – doomed – doomed – doomed...doomed...
Meanwhile, in a creepy basement – BUNNIES AND CANDY...no, wait – whips, chains and satanic flashbacks...and Uncle Fester...oh Burke, you fascist you, you will get your comeuppance yet...or just a pot of stew...sure, reward the evil guy with control of the school – DAMN YOU, EASTERN EUROPEAN SENSIBILITIES!!!...This jackass couldn’t even sweep a floor, let alone the leg...sure, just keep going back into the creepy basement, that’ll end well...oh my god, what is up with his eyebrows? It’s like they are stick on, but have been stuck over the opposite eyes...you are wondering why I’m not talking about the plot, aren’t you? Well – there isn’t one...the Talisman is evil and Uncle Fester is trying to kill everyone – end of plot...
I would say that this is good use of shadow, but it looks like someone spilled ink all over the frames...lesson number 1 – do NOT kiss the seductive, yet creepy daughter of the evil school marm...suck it, last of Burke’s nameless cronies...”tears of young men” – ok, this just got creepy...and there is your comeuppance Burke – that’s what you get for doing, um, being white and rich...and apparently, it’s the last day of the Millennium – suck it, something...STOP BEING DESCENDED OF EVIL, ELIAS!!!...of course, THE LIBRARY – home to all evil answers...The library, in this case, just being the single classroom AND the cafeteria just shot from a different angle...ohai, creepy doctor – you are dead now that you have spilled the plot...ohai both creepy and evil womens...seriously, half the time the boys are in a state of undress, and now the women are evil – this was written by Alexander McQueen, wasn’t it?
BLACK RANGER!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!...this is getting all sorts of gay and evil – just like Glee...and there goes kindly doctor – so it was Mrs Satan, in the office, with a candlestick...and there we go – Satan, this IS Total Eclipse Of The Heart...Kill them all, Uncle Fester – they are getting annoying – ALL OF THEM...take THAT, flashback children...ooooh, a twist worthy of M Night Shyamalan...and here we go – the bad guy gets to monologue...and we get twist number 2...and yet more implied incest...was that all one word?...and Uncle Fester don’t like that idea, not one bit...yeah, I’d be stunned too...and apparently the language that the universe was built on wasn’t mathematics after all (sorry, Galileo) – it’s actually some evil variant of Latin...hmmm, evil possessed creepy yet seductive daughter looks like Helena Bonham Carter now – I don’t know how to feel about that...and now she’s dead – well played, Elias...
Meanwhile – in the not too distant future (possibly next Sunday, AD), an innocent family leaves the film open for a sequel...
Seriously – the whole film was this:
But with more Uncle Fester.
I’ll be reviewing it Stream of Consciousness style. So hang on.
The best company stinger since Wiseau Films...No expense spared on these credits, or what seems to be the school from Total Eclipse of The Heart..yeah, this will end well...At least the school has a subway station in its basement...UNCLE FESTER!!! WHY?????????????????????????...and why does your fire sound like a drill?...Yeah, this is one of those “not even we know who we are” casts...and it sounds like someone set their keyboard to “low budget Gothic RPG battle scene”...Viorel Sergovici Jr: that’s not a name, that’s cheating at Scrabble...and there goes the special effects budget...Now the movie can begin...
Meanwhile, in season one of The X Files...it’s another kid doing the same run to the same creepy school – this is gonna end well...BLACK RANGER ALERT!!!!...And he says “shit”, he is the designated black man at this school...oh, so it’s a school for troubled loners...and the main character seems to be some sort of a Mexican...Jake Fine? Elias Storm? Was this film written by a 13 year old?...Ohai, rich, white bad guy bully types...Oh, of course the white guy gets called a “stormtrooper”...And your headmistress, mysterious Lady Von Dracula (seriously, it’s like they got one of every country in this film, it’s like the Olympics of Bad Film Making)...and sexy daughter is off-limits – yeah, that’s not gonna last...mmm, stock footage, it helps move a film along...
WHY IS THERE A FLASHBACK? We know the kid has problems – don’t you DARE turn into Zombie Nation...at least the cemetery looks suitably creepy...yeah, no good can come from digging a talisman up from a grave...cannibus leaves, salt, sulphur, blood of a female virgin (implied that of a baby) and secret words – yeah, shit is NOT gonna end well for ol’ Elias Storm...Oh Elias, don’t go going up to the private rooms, even though Jake told you exactly where there are...seriously, this is the film version of Total Eclipse of The Heart (and yes, Arthur Fonzarelli’s got an army of clones)...this film has way too much implied teen homosexuality – it’s all tighty whiteys and gym socks...
Ohai, creepy yet seductive daughter – I bet you are a vampire, or at the very least, mighty evil...yes, tell us about your nightmare...take THAT, god...so, apparently, we have taken a dive into the philosophical...ohai, implied incest...ohai, nameless white sidekicks, you are going to get killed off very quickly, aren’t you?...yes, yes you are...note to self – never follow strange, sexy moans into the basement of ANYWHERE in Europe...so, apparently the big look among creepy yet seductive daughters is a fivehead and hair modelled on Darth Vader’s helmet...hearts on fire!!!....Black Ranger is such a pussy that he is either going to die, or be the sole survivor...SCIENCE DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY...but flashbacks do...
For such a big college, it makes me wonder why it only has like 7 students and one teacher...food fights DO NOT include stabbings, silly Elias...ohai, Doctor Creepy – of course you are a doctor of theology, so you’ll know EXCATLY what Elias is all about...and yes, Elias has an insane, demon worshipping uncle – which makes him, you know, for the children...you are all doomed – doomed – doomed – doomed...doomed...
Meanwhile, in a creepy basement – BUNNIES AND CANDY...no, wait – whips, chains and satanic flashbacks...and Uncle Fester...oh Burke, you fascist you, you will get your comeuppance yet...or just a pot of stew...sure, reward the evil guy with control of the school – DAMN YOU, EASTERN EUROPEAN SENSIBILITIES!!!...This jackass couldn’t even sweep a floor, let alone the leg...sure, just keep going back into the creepy basement, that’ll end well...oh my god, what is up with his eyebrows? It’s like they are stick on, but have been stuck over the opposite eyes...you are wondering why I’m not talking about the plot, aren’t you? Well – there isn’t one...the Talisman is evil and Uncle Fester is trying to kill everyone – end of plot...
I would say that this is good use of shadow, but it looks like someone spilled ink all over the frames...lesson number 1 – do NOT kiss the seductive, yet creepy daughter of the evil school marm...suck it, last of Burke’s nameless cronies...”tears of young men” – ok, this just got creepy...and there is your comeuppance Burke – that’s what you get for doing, um, being white and rich...and apparently, it’s the last day of the Millennium – suck it, something...STOP BEING DESCENDED OF EVIL, ELIAS!!!...of course, THE LIBRARY – home to all evil answers...The library, in this case, just being the single classroom AND the cafeteria just shot from a different angle...ohai, creepy doctor – you are dead now that you have spilled the plot...ohai both creepy and evil womens...seriously, half the time the boys are in a state of undress, and now the women are evil – this was written by Alexander McQueen, wasn’t it?
BLACK RANGER!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!...this is getting all sorts of gay and evil – just like Glee...and there goes kindly doctor – so it was Mrs Satan, in the office, with a candlestick...and there we go – Satan, this IS Total Eclipse Of The Heart...Kill them all, Uncle Fester – they are getting annoying – ALL OF THEM...take THAT, flashback children...ooooh, a twist worthy of M Night Shyamalan...and here we go – the bad guy gets to monologue...and we get twist number 2...and yet more implied incest...was that all one word?...and Uncle Fester don’t like that idea, not one bit...yeah, I’d be stunned too...and apparently the language that the universe was built on wasn’t mathematics after all (sorry, Galileo) – it’s actually some evil variant of Latin...hmmm, evil possessed creepy yet seductive daughter looks like Helena Bonham Carter now – I don’t know how to feel about that...and now she’s dead – well played, Elias...
Meanwhile – in the not too distant future (possibly next Sunday, AD), an innocent family leaves the film open for a sequel...
Seriously – the whole film was this:
But with more Uncle Fester.
Friday, April 22, 2011
This Is Some Good Stuff
What do you think of when I say Joy Division (and later New Order)? How about The Happy Mondays? No? How about New Order? The Sex Pistols? Buzzcocks? A Certain Ratio (OK, you’d be forgiven for not knowing them, since they ultimately did fuck all)? How about The Hacienda? Factory Records? They were all connected to one man – Tony Wilson. Journalist, TV producer, music promoter, record company executive, self confessed genius. This is his story, this is their story (well, some of them, but they all show up at one point or another), this is 24 Hour Party People.
Steve Coogan plays the eponymous Tony Wilson who, in the words of the character himself, is “a minor character in my own story”. Genius, snob, bastard, visionary; Tony Wilson was all of these (and so is Coogan, so he’s perfect casting). Starting (as far as the film is concerned) as a journalist, Wilson quickly discovers music by attending a Sex Pistols gig and thus his future is made clear. Soon enough he starts the Factory, a place for his mates to play – mostly Joy Division at first (well, until Ian Curtis tops himself), which soon morphs into Factory Records; THE voice of the so-called “Madchester” sound (basically the E fuelled sound that we got from the UK in the 80s). From this, stems The Hacienda – the club at the center of it all; the music, the drugs, the violence, the whole scene. Then it implodes.
A story based on truth that is a much legend and fabrication (as is said during the film, regarding John Ford – “when the choice comes between printing the truth or the legend, print the legend”) as it is actual happening, 24 Hour Party People is filled not only with a who’s who of the British acting fraternity (in addition to Coogan, look out for Andy Serkis, John Simm, Shirley Henderson, Rob Brydon, Simon Pegg, Paddy Considine and Peter Kay amongst others) but also the actual people themselves – well, the ones who A) were still alive and B) agreed to be in it (which was pretty much all of them as it turns out, and so they were all cast – sure, some didn’t survive the editor’s scissors, but they are all there in one form or another); which leads to a few funny moments (eg, in a scene in which “Tony” finds his wife shagging Howard Devoto of The Buzzcocks, the camera cuts away to the real Devoto who thus informs the audience that that never actually happened, thus leading “Tony” to admit that a lot of this film is actually bullshit) – a LOT of breaking of the fourth wall goes on in this, so much so that it’s almost a documentary (not a mockumentary, since this was pretty much all documented happenings – apart from the aforementioned moments of bullshit). And, to me, that makes for a very interesting watch, since those who were there have multiple reasons behind not being able to remember the legitimate tale, be it self-aggrandization, being too drug fucked to remember or just flat out not wanting to tell the truth; and yet, people do remember, and a lot of this does come from people being on the outside looking in.
Overall, it’s hard to separate the truth from the lies, especially since a LOT of this did play out in the public eye (thus, making it hard to remove the “well, A happened, so why couldn’t B?” line of thinking) – however, it’s all entertaining. Ultimately, it could be to the Madchester Scene what Velvet Goldmine was to the Glam Scene, but when the ride is this entertaining, you really don’t care.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
GoGoGoGoGoGoGOGOGOGo Uh huhhhhh
Today’s film: Speed Racer
Review Style: What I Liked/Didn’t Like
What I Did Like About Speed Racer
The Palate: The Wachowskis wanted to make a live action cartoon, and they did. Granted, a lot (most) of it comes from the handy computer, but every frame of this film looks like...nay, IS...a cartoon. And that is because the palate is nothing but big, bright colours. I, for one, love it.
John Goodman: Some people are born to play certain roles – Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier, Sir Ben Kingsley as Mahatma Gandhi, Linda Carter as Wonder Woman, and John Goodman as Pops Racer. The man was BORN to play Pops Racer, and since he first entered public mainstream consciousness (somewhere around him being cast in Roseanne) – hell, even before – people had been saying that he would be an awesome Pops Racer. And he is.
The Casting In General: Everyone manages to play their characters with just enough blending between 2 and 3 dimension that they don’t stick out either way. The primary characters are given actual motivation and emotion; the secondary characters are there to fill roles – just like any good cartoon.
Live Action Cartoon: Seriously, go and watch some old episodes of the show –then watch the film. This was made by people who not only were respectful to the original property, but wanted to do their best to work within the rules set by the look and feel of the original. I’m of the opinion that people who complained about the film not being true to the cartoon had never actually seen an episode.
What I Didn’t Like About Speed Racer
The Drag: I’ll freely admit, at parts, the plot does drag a bit making for a film that could have had 10-15 minutes trimmed out of it – particularly anything to do with Royalton giving any history lessons. I do enjoy Roger Allam, but the character of Royalton was missing something for me, which made for any time he was on screen drag.
Too much Spridle: Yes, this is an annoyance going back to me being a child and watching the show then. I hated the character then and I hate him now. I have never been a fan of the “we need to have a child character so that the child audience has someone to identify with” line of thinking. It’s always come off as condescending and patronising to me.
Is this a film that will go down on top of critical or cultural lists? No.
Is this a film that is just a fun watch? Yes.
Is this a film that is just a fun watch? Yes.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Get Out Of My Way, Or I'm Gonna Shove
Today’s film was described by my good self upon watching it, as the middle part of a trilogy that never existed. And if this trilogy actually existed, I would watch the crap out of it. That’s how much I dig this movie. Another thing the film has going for it – it appeals to the part of me that really digs “comic book movies from comics that never were” (the same appeal that comes from Unbreakable), in fact, a prequel mini-series WAS released through DC. The film in question? Push.
Push tells the story of a war between a shady government agency who want to create a breeds of superpowered soldiers, and those with the abilities who don’t want to be used that way. Focusing primarily on Nick, a Mover; Kira, a Pusher and Cassie, a Watcher as they try to not only escape the government sponsored Sniffs that are on their trail, but also a family of Bleeders as they all chase down a rogue $6M. “Wait a minute, what are these terms you are using”, I hear you ask. Well, since I’m a nice guy, I will tell you what they mean: As you may have guessed, they are types of superpowers, but here is what they do –
· Watchers: have the power of precognition
· Movers: have the powers telekinesis
· Pushers: are able to implant false memories and thoughts in others
· Bleeders (aka, Screamers or Screechers): can emit a high pitched sonic wave that ruptures blood vessels
· Sniffs: can track targets over great distances
· Shifters: can temporarily alter people’s perception of objects by changing how light interacts with said object
· Wipers: have the power to temporarily or permanently erase memories
· Shadows: the only power that can block Sniffs by making a target go “dark”
· Stitches: psychic surgeons who can manipulate bodies at the cellular level
And now you know. You are as up to date as you need to be for the story to unfold. Enjoy.
The first major thing that you notice, and when movies do things like this, I love it – they waste no time with serious amounts of back story (yeah, there are a few minutes and that is it) and just throw you into the story with little more than a few words of “so, this is what’s happening”. They never try to over-explain the story; instead let it unfold when it needs to, with the key information revealed when it should be. Sure, the film won’t ever win a major award (nor likely be remembered in a century), but it does at least treat it’s viewers with some respect and intelligence enough to not need everything spelled out at all times.
Another awesome thing about the film is the fact that it was actually filmed where it takes place – Hong Kong (don’t get me wrong, I do love playing a game of “obvious stand in town is obvious” from time to time, but I really dig it when people go for THAT level of authenticity – it really is a dying part of the medium of film). It could be the fact that I am a huge fan of the city, and also the Dark Heavens series of books, which also take place in Hong Kong – but seeing that place actually living on screen in front of me made me smile, and definitely went a long way towards letting the story live. It’s one thing to have well done sets, but when those sets are pre-existing places in a city as rich as Hong Kong, there is just an extra “wow” factor that a movie has – and Push has that. In spades.
Now, to the acting – first things first, it was this film that actually made me a fan of Chris Evans. Sure, I’d enjoyed him in Not Another Teen Movie, and found him at least tolerable in the Fantastic Four films, but it was this that made me an actual fan – of course, it certainly hasn’t hurt that everything he’s done since has been awesome. Yes, as Nick, he’s not stretching any major acting skills –but the character is believable without going too over the top (given the subject matter, we start pretty much at the OTT line, but nothing goes particularly crazy OTT – especially for a comic book fan). Dakota Fanning is always awesome as Cassie, a young Watcher who hates her power but does what she needs to do – I’ve long since said that she is going to have a long, amazing career; and I’ve never seen anything to make me doubt that (not even War Of The Worlds). In addition to those two, they are backed up by a great support cast; Camilla Belle as Kira, the key to everything; Djimon Honsou and Neil Jackson as the government agent pursuing them (yes, also superpowered); Cliff Curtis, Ming Na, Maggie Siff and Nate Mooney as various other superpowers, and some pretty awesome Chinese actors including Xiaolu Li, Jacky Heung and Biu Che rounding out the cast.
With so many films being made every year (more and more each year, since technology has made it possible for ANYONE to be a filmmaker these days – for good and for bad), it stands to reason that many films will fall by the wayside, and that is a shame. Especially when the film is actually good. Sure, Push isn’t for everyone (nothing is), but if you like superpower comicbooks (particularly those of a Vertigo/ABC bent), then you’ll dig this film.
Monday, April 18, 2011
This Monkey Film Is A Chimp
Now, for the first time in quite a while, I am going to revisit my Mill Creek boxsets. As you may or may not remember, I have had a very interesting history with my choices from those boxes of joy, ranging from the pretty decent to downright lame and boring, but all in all, I have been pretty happy with most of the films that I’ve pulled from these. And today, I hope will be another good film. Why? Because it features giant monkeys, and, much like Homer Simpson, I do love a movie that features a giant monkey. Today’s public domain classic is – Kong Island.
And, because it has been far too long since I have done one, I think it shall be Stream Of Consciousness style.
We open with some poorly shot footage of white hunters in “Africa” (or a nearby quarry)...oh no, a shootout – and that’s the end of that guy...I hate this movie already...why did GI Joe shoot Hercules?...you sole survivor? Burt Reynolds...meanwhile, credits – and yes, this movie stars no one...but it does have a jazzy theme that is really setting my teeth on edge...And yes, it’s funded by the Italians...
Ohai, mad scientists, how you doin?...operating on monkeys, I see – yeah that will end up going well for you...This is the most realistic monkey surgery since Indiana Jones...seriously, that sidekick guy looks like he wandered in from a nearby butchery... that is one angry stop motion monkey...ladies and gentlemen, Miss Diahann Carroll – what’s the bet that she features in the film more than this one scene...oh god, this film is so boring...you’d think that a movie featuring mad science, mercenaries and monkeys would be more exciting...Dateline: Nairobi, apparently...
Was this film recoloured with crayons?...and now, plot – they are going to be hunting wild monkey that lives in a part of the jungle “forbidden to white man”, but bring on the white women, giggity...oh god, this film is starting to remind me of a less exciting Piranha, Piranha – and I didn’t think that was possible...meanwhile, in a dance scene showing how hip and with it they all are, black people roam freely...and apparently the merc is a bit of a ladie’s man, and is going to piss off the big game hunter by hunting his daughter...unless he gets kidnapped by a completely unrelated group of idiots, that is...I think I would care more if any of these characters were in any way likeable or identifiable...
“It’s the man, not the animals, who are the real danger” – you said it, sister...Loveinterest Magee looks like an even plainer Faye Reagan...and here, we have some stock footage animals...man, I wish this was one of those Disney nature documentaries from back in the day – those things were keen...oh god, I wish they would stop with the bloody music already, it’s like someone set the Burt Bacharach Pops Orchestra to “Suck” and “Rip Off The Star Trek Theme”...oooh, a bad guy – you can tell he’s bad because his music has guitar riff and cool drumming, thus he instantly becomes my favourite...someone set their Noises Of The Jungle 8 Track to “Everything At Once”...and yet more stock footage...If they don’t find a restaurant in the middle of the jungle, I will be very upset...
Oh no, music – you will NOT try to lure me into liking this awful tune by laying drumming over it...and for the love of god, get to the bloody plot already...jesus, not even half an hour in...I don’t care about ANY of these people, at all...oh sure, call the black guy Mulumba...”You are Nagungo now”...Oh hell yeah, bad guy – kill them all....MONKEYS!!!! Always attracted to naked white women...dammit – it’s just a guy in a suit so bad that he may as well have stumbled in from Search For The Beast...but at least they have something to fight for now...and something about a plot, but really, I couldn’t care at all – something about rescuing the girl in exchange for something...oh god – this has nothing to do with giant monkeys at all, does it? DAMN YOU, MILL CREEK. DAMN YOU TO HECK!!
OK, from here on in, I will only say something if something particularly exciting (hah), interesting (double hah) or cool (psssshyeah) happens...when the stock footage and dodgy Star Trek ripoff music laid over the top are the best part of you film, you really should just give up...I can see why this film fell into the public domain...HIPPOS!!...and thus, because the music has become cool again, means something is happening...THE SACRED MONKEY!!!!...
Oh no, Tabu has been killed – how will I know who is the Asian one in Black Eyed Peas now? (and there better be a special memorial issue of Vaguely Asian Magazine next month)...John Wayne?...it’s his sister? Then why the hell was he macking on her before?...and while nothing keeps happening in this film, let’s pay a visit to IMDB to read up on it...oh god, it has no entry – that does not bode well...ok, it’s called King Of Kong Island, and has nothing to do with what I am watching...DAMN YOU, ITALY!!!...it turns out that the Sacred Monkey, much like the Queen of Fantasia, is a girl...
Meanwhile, yet more stock footage...I just realised something – THERE IS NO ISLAND!!...goddammit movie, why won’t you end?...meanwhile, the plot is something lame about the doublecross at the beginning – thank you for FINALLY making that clear, movie...and now, we have some dead natives...and a hell of a lot more alive ones...”they are savages – they expect us to run for our lives” – wise words, dead white man...it’s official, this film is too boring to even snark on...and there is the Star Trek rip off music again...and a little something for the ladies...and now the ONLY animals that the producers could afford, two flamingos – there they go, ladies and gentlemen...oooh, oddly placed jungle fruit – I think it’s a trap, but I don’t care, I hope this idiot falls for it...
Oh crap – there is still half an hour of this...and finally, we see the Sacred Monkey, and boy howdy – she is not worth it, looking for all the world like the Princess from Wild Women of Wongo...MONKEY KNIFE FIGHT!!! Man will always beat ape...meanwhile, in what seems to be a completely unrelated film – Murder At The Rue Morgue is taking place?...Ernest Hemmingway fights with Sophia Loren, for reasons unknown, and frankly, I don’t care enough to check...I’m beginning to think that this film doesn’t actually have a plot...
Ohai, men is monkey suits...and now, we come to the awkwardly shoehorned in science fiction part of the movie... oh, so they (the mad scientists from the beginning of the film and were not so much as mentioned again until now) are implanting radio chips into apes heads for as to control them – and thus the Planet Of The Apes begins...meanwhile, on Kung Fu Island – hero guy and Sacred Monkey come to the rescue of the chick, and deftly win...or they will, I’m sure of it...but no, I still don’t care...Folks, if you are going to film a semi-tense chase scene, especially if it is the finale of your movie – at least film it somewhere that has some sort of lighting. Just because a cave is the only semi-authentic place you can film your shitball of a movie, don’t forget to bring a few lights...
“What do you take me for? A Jackass?” – yes movie, I do take you for a jackass...how the hell did Ernest Hemmingway get from his hotel room to here? And why do I care?...and man wins again...you maniacs, you blew it up – damn you, damn you all to hell...
I HATE YOU, FILM! Don’t ever waste your time with this. I’m serious.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
His Hair May Be A Bird, But The Review Is Still Valid
As said by Roger Ebert in his review of the recent Nic Cage film Drive Angry (which I will see at some point very soon). And I could not agree more. Let’s face it; the man has been is a lot of movie – many good, a few great, and many quite bad. I’ve long had an admiration for actors who get to that point in their career in which they only take projects that entertain themselves – public acclaim be damned, and upon hitting up IMDB for some information about one Nic Cage, it dawned on me that that is how the man has viewed his entire career. And I cannot fault the man on that, in fact, it just cemented my love of the man. So much so, that I he is the only actor that has a dedicated section in my DVD library (an honour previously reserved for overall genres, and certain directors). But enough about my love of the man, I’m here to talk about a movie he did. A movie by the name of Next.
Based on a Philip K Dick short story, Next tells the story of Chris Johnson (Nicolas Cage in the role that gave birth to My Hair Is A Bird), a Vegas stage magician who can see two minutes into the future (moreso, he can see every variant of what actions bring). Except for one instance, which leads him to go to a certain diner at a certain time every day, waiting for a certain lady. He uses this ability to help him cheat while gambling, which brings him to the attention of the FBI, who try to rope him into helping them with a possible terrorist plot. This brings him, and his mystery lady (who has the same precognitive ability he does), into contention with both the FBI and the Russian terrorists, both of whom they have to out run.
Now, as far as Nic Cage movies go, it is one of the more ludicrously thought out, with Nic pretty much playing Mr Indestructible (due to the character’s precognition ability). But, because this is Cage playing a somewhat restrained character, the film walks, but doesn’t flip over, that line that pushes a lot of his films into true memorability. In fact, it’s all kinda boring really – and I think I know why. The film doesn’t have that Nic Cage descent into madness that have made other films I reviewed on this blog so memorable. Sure, he does get to bust out the intensity, but there is nothing that stands out as much as in other films. Of course, it doesn’t help that Cage and Jessica Biel have next to no chemistry (and I am starting to think that she is incapable of having real chemistry with anyone), and he fairs only slightly better with Julianne Moore. In fact, no one in this film has the slightest hint of chemistry with anyone else, and if it wasn’t for the fact that people are visually interacting with each other, I would have sworn that they just took a bunch of random solo performances and just edited them together. Cage may be good in good films, and great in bad films, but not even he can save a boring film.
All of this combines to make for a film that certainly is a film.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Theme Week - Broken Lizard; Puddle Cruiser
Closing out Broken Lizard Week, and as I said waaaay back on day one I would be covering these films in the order in which I saw them, so we start – of course, with their first film. A film they made just as they graduated college, so, of course the film deals with college life. It’s called Puddle Cruiser.
Let me just get this out of the way first – as far as Broken Lizard films go, I think that I will always put this last. For starters, it comes off as a pretty weak college drama with only the smallest glimmers of the comedy stylings that the guys have come to be known for. I could say that it is because I don’t identify with the college stereotypes that the guys put forward (first projects are always “write what you know”, so I can’t fault them), but really, at the center of this film is a rather dull love story. This time around it’s Lemme’s turn as hero, playing Felix, a student who goes and falls in love with Emily, the student lawyer in charge of defending his buddies, Matt and Grogan, who have been charged with breaking into a campus restaurant. Meanwhile, Emily’s other boyfriend (they are in a “seeing other people” relationship) gets pissed off, so Felix has to prove his manliness on the rugby field. I would say that hilarity ensues, but, outside of a few minor places, it really doesn’t. In fact, I was a little taken back by how much of a relationship drama this film is.
You’d be forgiven for thinking that I don’t actually like this film, because I did like it; and it definitely shows the seeds of talent that the five guys would show in all later films, especially Heffernan and Soter as Grogan and Matt. This, being a college project, is the only one of their films that isn’t dripping with guest stars – in fact, the rest of the cast is made up of their classmates, teachers and family members (some work, and some don’t – that’s what you get when you work with amateurs).
All in all, it’s more a curiousity than anything, especially for Broken Lizard fans. Just don’t go in expecting the zaniness of their later work.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Theme Week - Broken Lizard; The Slammin' Salmon
We come, now, to the Broken Lizard boys’ most recent film – The Slammin’ Salmon. And, unlike the previous three, it is a film that I have (as of writing this review) only seen the once, however I did enjoy it enough that I will no doubt be watching it again at some point.
Set over one night at The Slammin’ Salmon, a restaurant owned by ex world champion boxer “Slammin” Cleon Salmon, the film deals with the wait staff as they deal with obnoxious customers, each other and Cleon’s debts to the Yakuza. He owes the Yakuza head $20,000 and so challenges his staff to come up with the money over one night, with the highest seller getting $10k and the lowest getting beat up by him. Over the night, the team have to contend with an uppity singer and her entourage, a celebrity couple and a disappearing engagement ring and the fact that they keep sabotaging each other to try and win that $10 grand. Who wins? You’ll find out.
As per the other films, the guys once again switch it up with some pretty good results, although Kevin Heffernan gets to play the hero at the end, Paul Soter also gets to run with the role (well, one of his roles is, the other is a total asshole). And, as per always, the manage to pull in a few big names – Colbie Smulders, Vivica A Fox, Lance Henriksen, Morgan Fairchild and Michael Clarke Duncan (who is just having a hell of a time as Salmon himself) amongst others get to work alongside the team. And much like every other film, they are more than willing to get as silly as the guys, and that is what makes it all work.
If you are a fan of Waiting, Office Space, Clerks or really any “customer service” film, you’ll get something out of The Slammin’ Salmon. And if you like well done comedy, you’ll definitely get something out of The Slammin’ Salmon.
As I said, I have only seen this film the once, but I will be watching it again.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
State Of The Union, Part 3
So, folks, it's time to make a change or two around here. Don't worry, nothing big.
- You'll notice, if you turn your vision slightly to the right, that I've installed a Donation Button. I'm not going to strong arm or guilt you into donating, but if you have a few extra shekels that you want to toss my way, I certainly won't say no to them. I will say thanks though.
- As of immediately, my Ten Things I Learned From columns are moving their home. From immediately, they will be found over at Anon! For I Shall Whoop Thee! - a rather excellent site created by Alex from Jaded Hope. Don't worry, I will be linking to them from here, so you won't lose out.
Theme Week - Broken Lizard; Beerfest
We continue Broken Lizard Week with the guy’s fourth film (and third that I saw of theirs), and some would say their best – Beerfest. And before we continue, a minor CSB: when I saw this film at the cinema, it was the only time in all my many years of cinema attendance, that the projectionist screwed up the reels, instead of getting a standard 1-2-3-4 viewing experience, I got 1-3-2-4. Noone complained, but we all knew. So, it wasn’t until years later when I bought the DVD that I actually saw the film in its proper order. Funtimes were had by all.
Long story short, the brothers Wolfhouse (Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske, this time getting to play the heroes rather than the zany guys) get roped into competing in Beerfest, a secret underground drinking game contest, when they discover that their grandfather may have stolen a recipe for the greatest beer in all the world. During their yearlong training routine, they discover that they are the true heirs to both the recipe and the von Wolfhausen brewery an together with the rest of the team, Landfill (Kevin Heffernan) – a professional eater, Fink Finkelstein (Steve Lemme) – a beer obsessed chemist, and Barry Badrinath (Jay Chandrasekhar) – a homeless male prostitute return to Germany to take back their heritage from their German cousins.
As I mentioned in my Super Troopers review, the guys get some pretty big names to run alongside them, and Beerfest is no different as Donald Sutherland, Cloris Leachman, Wil Forte and Jurgen Prochnow all willingly going along with the lunacy of the story. Leachman and Forte, particularly damn near steal the movie as Gam Gam Wolfhouse and Otto, respectively.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fan of the whole “you need to watch it multiple times to really like it” defence when it comes to comedy films – if I don’t find you funny the first time, then why the hell would I bother wasting my time with watching you again? However, I will let you in on a secret – I have not more than merely “liked” a Broken Lizard film the first time I saw them, and it was only on subsequent watches that I loved them. That being said, Beerfest (while not my favourite film of theirs) is the closest I have come to immediately loving a Broken Lizard film.
If you like jokes about drinking, stupid humour or Wil Forte doing a silly German accent, then you really should do yourself the service of seeing Beerfest.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Theme Week - Broken Lizard; Club Dread
We continue with our Broken Lizard Week with my favourite film of theirs, and (for reasons unknown to me) a film that brings a lot of ire, primarily from people who just know them from Super Troopers. That film? Club Dread.
Working both as an affectionate parody of, and a spoof of 80’s slasher film (and we all know my feelings on good parody/spoof films and not bad “spoof” films), Club Dread takes place on Coconut Island, a party resort owned by Coconut Pete (no prizes for guessing who he is based on *cough*Jimmy Buffett*cough*). And yes, it is a nonstop party – unfortunately, there is a psycho running about, killing off everyone and generally making a right ol’ mess of things. Who is it and can they be stopped before they off everyone? Well, if I answer any of that, then I’ll be spoiling things, won’t I?
Once again, the boys come off looking as though they are a professional team (and by this point, they really are) who are capable of making a great film. As I mentioned in my Super Troopers review, the guys don’t subscribe to “one guy, one style” in their roles, as Kevin Heffernan (who played a complete jerk in that film) was given the role of the hero and carries it off beautifully. And, as per always, they pull in some big names including Bill Paxton who is frikkin’ hilarious as Coconut Pete.
Yes, this is flat out comedy, but with a few minor scares – however, if you grew up on 80’s slasher films (as the BL team did), you can pretty much know what to expect and it’s all done with a sense of respect for the source material that will leave you feeling as though you have seen a decent and funny film.
I know this review was a heck of a lot shorter than others, but really, I don’t know what else to say – if you like 80’s slasher films, see this. If you like other Broken Lizard films, see this.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Theme Week - Broken Lizard; Super Troopers
This week, I figure I would do a bit of a theme week. And for that theme, I have decided to review the films of one of my favourite comedy teams (I don’t really know how else to classify them, as they only really make films together – no stage shows or the like). Well, anyway, over a period of 10 years and five films (technically they’ve been making films for 17 years now, but I hadn’t seen their very first film until recently), I’ve been nothing but entertained by Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Paul Soter, Steve Lemme and Erik Stolhanske – collectively known as Broken Lizard.
Anyway, I’ll be doing these films in the order in which I have seen them, which mean that I will be starting off with their most well loved film, the second film they made (and first with an actual budget) – Super Troopers.
The Spurbury, Vermont, State Troopers department is facing budget cuts and a possible closure, due in part to the fact that their squadron are prank obsessed idiots. In addition to their continuing in fighting and pranking each other, they also have to contend with the Spurbury Police Department (their sworn enemies and other possible closure) and an influx of drugs and murder. Eventually, they find out that it’s up to them to break the mystery and hopefully save their station.
As far as Broken Lizard movies go, this is probably the perfect introduction to them (as it was to myself and many others) as it showcases not only the lad’s style of humour, but each man gets their moment to shine, thus giving you full introduction to the fact that they don’t all subscribe to “one guy does one style”. Sure, you will get to see this in action in the other films, especially as it pertains to Kevin and Jay, but there are glimmers in this film. In addition to the boys themselves, in each film they manage to pull in some bigger name actors who all get the joke and play along willingly – and Super Troopers is no different, with the always brilliant Brian Cox as the State Trooper commander, Daniel Von Bargen as the Police Chief and Lynda Carter as the town mayor.
Like I said, this is probably the perfect introduction to the Broken Lizard style, so if you haven’t checked it out, definitely give it a looking.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Rompiest Romp Since The Mummy
Question – what would you call a film that was part Indiana Jones, part Stephen Somers’ Mummy series, part Amélie? Before you answer, how about you add the sensibilities of both Tintin and a bunch of mid 90’s adventure games. Now, what would you call it? I don’t know – but you SHOULD call it The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, the 2010 French Luc Besson directed live action adaptation of the Belgian comic series (what is it about Belgians that make their comics such romps?).
Within the first 10 minutes we get several characters who are barely involved in the main story, save for being eyewitnesses (hey, it’s a favourite story tool of mine), a pterodactyl that has been returned to life by a 100+ year old mystical scientist and our heroine, novelest and adventuress Adèle Blanc-Sec who is equal parts non-fan service Lara Croft, Indiana Jones and Rick O’Connell. And it gets better from there – mummies, nasty rival professors, ages old curses, yet more dinosaurs, and a sarcophagus escape (take THAT, nuclear fridge). And then, we get all the fun of a “Boy’s Own” adventure, only this time – the hero is a lady. Sure, it’s not wall to wall action and adventure, but it is fun and as charming as any French film could be.
Having never heard of the character before 3 days ago, when I read a review on Pajiba, I went in to this film with only a few words and a trailer, both of which made this film sound like a right adventurous romp. And they were right. Like I said in the first paragraph, the film combines the fun of several properties that are known for such, and manage to make a film that I had one heck of a time watching. Like I said, I am not familiar with the original comic series, so I have no idea how faithful the film adaptation it – but if it is 1/10th as good as the film, I will have to check it out.
All in all, this was fun little popcorn film and a darn good romp. In my opinion, Besson’s best since The Fifth Element.
Within the first 10 minutes we get several characters who are barely involved in the main story, save for being eyewitnesses (hey, it’s a favourite story tool of mine), a pterodactyl that has been returned to life by a 100+ year old mystical scientist and our heroine, novelest and adventuress Adèle Blanc-Sec who is equal parts non-fan service Lara Croft, Indiana Jones and Rick O’Connell. And it gets better from there – mummies, nasty rival professors, ages old curses, yet more dinosaurs, and a sarcophagus escape (take THAT, nuclear fridge). And then, we get all the fun of a “Boy’s Own” adventure, only this time – the hero is a lady. Sure, it’s not wall to wall action and adventure, but it is fun and as charming as any French film could be.
Having never heard of the character before 3 days ago, when I read a review on Pajiba, I went in to this film with only a few words and a trailer, both of which made this film sound like a right adventurous romp. And they were right. Like I said in the first paragraph, the film combines the fun of several properties that are known for such, and manage to make a film that I had one heck of a time watching. Like I said, I am not familiar with the original comic series, so I have no idea how faithful the film adaptation it – but if it is 1/10th as good as the film, I will have to check it out.
All in all, this was fun little popcorn film and a darn good romp. In my opinion, Besson’s best since The Fifth Element.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
If This Film Were Any More Irish, Bono Would Write A Song About It
Today Film: The Secret of Kells
Review Style: What I Like/What I Don’t Like
What I Liked About The Secret Of Kells
The Animation Style – As the film is based on the creation of The Book of Kells, one of the best examples of illuminated manuscripts that ever existed (and does to this day), I found that basing the art of this film on the same style of artwork from the book proper was excellent. It’s eye catching and unlike almost any other animated film I’ve seen, and serves to give the film a charm all its own (in fact, the closest thing it reminds me of is a cross between Okami and The Triplets of Bellville). And the best thing – they didn’t have to rely on computer graphics
Brendon Gleeson and Mick Lally – voicing the two main adult characters, Abbot Cellach and Brother Aiden respectively, they bring the same brand of awesomeness to these roles as they do (or did) for everything else. And, even though the characters weren’t exactly what one would call multi-dimensional, they did more than the best with what they had.
Celtic Mythology – A film by Celts, for Celts. And I can appreciate that. Sure, I knew that this wouldn’t be a textbook lesson on myth and legend, but there was enough to keep my interest.
What I Didn’t Like About The Secret Of Kells
Child Brendan – OK, I know that this is because I was not the target audience for him (this film is a children’s film after all), but eh, the kid didn’t click with me.
The Child Voice Actors – They weren’t bad, per se; they just came off as verging on precious to me.
Secondary Characters – Outside of Brendan, Cellach, Aiden and arguably Aisling, every character is the very definition of just there to make up the numbers. And I, for one, would have liked to know how a black man, an Asian gent and an Italian all got to 15thC. Tir Na Nog (either there is a joke there somewhere or monks had a really good exchange program in place).
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Ten Things I Learned From: Zoolander
- There is no problem around that a Walk Off can’t solve. Especially one that is judged by Mr David Bowie.
- Gasoline fights never end happily. Never.
- I don’t care who you are – gender, sexual preference, whatever – a shirtless Alexander Sarsgaard can only improve something.
- Ben Stiller is only truly funny when his father is around, which leads me to believe that he only exists to try and impress Jerry Stiller – as we all should. Or when he directs himself.
- For a party to truly be both spiritual and crazy, you need drugged out midgets. But then, I didn’t really learn that from this movie (it’s one of the basic tenets of life).
- Never trust David Duchovny. Even if he is trying to help – especially if he is trying to help. And double especially if you are the one who fucked it up for him.
- That feeling you got about Frankie from Frankie Goes To Hollywood? Totally justified – he is an evil, evil man who really does want to have various world leaders killed.
- That Hansel – he’s so hot right now.
- Thanks to Derrick Zoolander, I learned to read good, and do other stuff good, too. Thank you, Zoolander.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Mr Hitler
Today, I figured I would take a brief look at a film, in addition to making a lot of idiots very angry, is one of the best exercises in tension of recent times. It’s a film by one of my favourite directors, and possibly his best work – if not in the top 3. It’s a film that turned me into a fan of two people who I had never heard of before seeing this film. It’s a film that was both my favourite film of 2009, and in my top 15 of all time. The film in question? Inglourious Basterds.
Now, what you have to know is, while this film is called Inglourious Basterds AND does indeed feature a group by the same name – it is not a film about them. They are merely a tool at best, and a distraction at worst, for a much bigger plan – kill Hitler[1]. No, the film is far more about SS Captain Hans Landa – “The Jew Hunter” and Shosanna, the girl he let get away and her plans of revenge. Just go into the film knowing that and you will be fine. And really, how the hell could you not be far more pleased with that than what we actually get? Just because Brad Pitt is the biggest name in the cast (and, I’ll admit a pretty darn good actor when he wants to be) does not mean he gives the best performance – hell, I’d be hard pressed to put him in the top 5 performances. In fact, I’ll give a quick rundown of the top five performances of Inglourious Basterds:
- Christoph Waltz as Cnl. Hans Landa. Hero to all Germans, eradicator of Jews. There is no wonder that Herr Waltz both won the Oscar AND gave himself a career outside of Germany based on this performance. He is so brilliant in the role and is probably Tarantino’s best casting decision ever – and, to me, QT is a man who KNOWS how to cast. It takes a very special man to make a character who is both so morally reprehensible and flat out likeable, but Waltz plays both sides with aplomb.
- Daniel Brühl as Pvt. Fredrick Zoller. Reluctant, but willing, propaganda hero to the Germans. Brühl manages to convey innocence mixed with the fear of knowing that he’s been thrust basically into a lie, yet is fully relishing the position and fame that this lie has afforded him. Every time I see this film, I like his performance just that little bit more.
- M̩lanie Laurent as Shosanna Dreyfuss/Emmanuelle Mimieux. The one that got away. Once again, QT is a man who KNOWS how to cast РMme. Laurent conveys nothing but disdain, anger, fear and moral disgust at the Germans who have not only killed her family, but taken over her town and forced her to move among their ranks...well, until the sheer glee on her face when her revenge plan moves into motion.
- Denis Menochet as Perrier LaPadite. The farmer. Sure, he may only be featured in one scene, but not only is it one of the more crucial scenes, showing the audience just what a monster Cnl. Landa actually is, but it is the scene that sets up just what sort of tone the whole film will give. And the tenseness, the fear, the sadness that Menochet shows within those first five minute convey more than almost any other opening of Tarantino’s catalogue.
- Michael Fassbender as Lt. Archie Hicox. Superspy extraordinaire. Another character who exists primarily in a single scene, but that scene is probably one of the tensest scenes that I have ever seen (and I have seen a lot, mind you). Granted, this scene is as strong as it is due to all performances, not just his – but Herr Fassbender conveys such an egotistical swagger that you just know he’s going to bring it all down around everyone’s ears.
Now, I said that this was an exercise in tension and it truly is. I don’t care who you are, but you will be on the edge of your seat during several scenes – in particular (and not spoiling too much), the farmhouse scene, the dinner scene and the meeting in the inn. I know I was.
[1] I’ll freely admit that I can see how some people would be pissed off, since the advertising was built around a team of sadistic Nazi hunters, and instead they play a second banana role to, well, everyone else.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Heart Poundin, Veins Cloggin
Now, anyone who knows me, and especially anyone who has watched movies (or, really anything, for that matter) with me knows – I am the kind of guy who will almost constantly interact with the screen. Even with things I like. I’ve been like this pretty much as long as I can remember. And that is why I gravitated so readily to Mystery Science Theater 3000. After I came upon the show in the mid 90’s, I became an instant and lifelong fan (for the record, I have no favourite host – both have their good and bad points; and yes, I do know you can like Clayton, TV’s Frank AND Pearl too). And yes, apart from having my favourite MST’ed episodes, I have also come across, watched, and sometimes even enjoyed, non MST’ed versions of some of their greatest (and not so greatest) hits. And that is where today’s film comes from. Today’s film is the Joe Don Baker classic, Mitchell.
Originally filmed as a pilot episode that quickly shot itself down in flames, only to find new life as a standalone movie (and later as one of the most popular episodes of MST3K), Mitchell is your standard cop v bad guys crime thriller. Except for one thing – Mitchell is the single most disgusting human being ever. In fact, in the first scene we meet him, he is passed out drunk in the back seat of a police cruiser heading to a callout (“your hero, ladies and gentlemen”). After realising that there is more to this shooting than first meets the eye he ends up crossing paths with a local crime boss and the cops he has in his pocket. Then proceeds to do what he does best – eat, be a pig and have several ill advised love scenes with Linda Evans. Then he saves the day. I would say more, but the storyline is so stock standard that you can fill in the blanks yourself – but why would you want to?
Now, for those of you who only know this film via MST3K (and, I won’t lie, that was my first introduction to it – and really, my preferred method of watching), you can probably tell that not only has the film been edited for television, but that it would be a chore to watch without Joel and The Bots cracking wise throughout it. And you would be right on both counts. Not only does the film proper have more boobies, cursing and acts of violence; but it’s such an unmitigated crap pile that they can’t even hope to save it. Hell, the only way I was able to force my way through the unedited version was to reflect on my favourite lines from the MST’ed version.
This is NOT a good film, and you should ONLY stick with the MST’ed version, unless you have some sort of a death wish.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Ten Things I Learned From: Kick Ass
- Quoting Scarface NEVER works. It didn’t work for Tony Montana, and it won’t work for you. And that goes double for real life.
- Never trust a superhero with a cool car. Or if their dad is Mark Strong. Or if their costume is better than yours.
- Don’t underestimate the disguise ability of a slightly longer mustache and far too much eye makeup. It works for Nicolas Cage, and it can work for you too.
- No matter how overtly unsexualised you make a character, if said character is an underaged girl, then sooner or later some overly PC jackass will see what they want to see and try to manufacture controversy. They will usually fail, but for a few days, it’s facepalm city.
- Comic book nerds are never satisfied when properties get filmed. Of course, I knew this beforehand, I just needed to reiterate how precious nerds can get.
- Why NOT raise your daughter to be an instrument of revenge? Sure beats seeing her wind up on Girls Gone Wild. Yeah, she’ll probably end up with daddy issues either way, but at least you were there for her – to watch her get her first headshot, to execute her first mugger, that awkward moment when you have to get her fitted with bulletproof armour.
- Once you decide to be a superhero, you will almost instantly find an awesome outfit and it will fit perfectly.
- Pretending to be a gay guy is frustrating, up until the girl finds out you are straight – then she can’t resist your manliness and WILL shag you silly on a dumpster behind a comic book store (yes, I know that’s not how it happened in the book, but the site is called Film A Day, not Graphic Novel A Day).
- The bees are ALWAYS going to be in Nic Cage’s eyes, and he will ALWAYS end up on fire.
- The coolest way to make an entry is with a jetpack. Do not argue with this, because you will lose. Just accept it.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
This Review Is Paying You In Advance
As I have said in a few other entries on this thing, one of my favourite styles of humour is that of po faced seriousness. No matter how ludicrous a situation, if the players take it as nothing out of the ordinary and just part of their world, that can make almost anything even more hilarious to me. And it is that sort of humour that is well and truly played in today’s film – Mystery Team.
Mystery Team is the first film from beloved Internet Comedy Troupe, Derrick Comedy ( Dominic Dierkes, DC Pierson, and Donald “Troy from Community” Glover) and tells the story of, well, the Mystery Team – a sassy team of child investigators; Jason, the master of disguise (Glover); Duncan, the boy genius (Pierson) and Charlie, the strongest kid in town (Dierkes). As kids, they started a 10cper case investigation business, and now a decade later they are still doing it. But, instead of investigating who stole the milk from outside the 2rd grade classroom, they are roped into a murder mystery. Can they crack the case? You’ll find out if you watch.
Now, I’ve been a fan of Derrick Comedy for several years now (ever since someone linked me to their skit Jerry – warning: poop humour) and getting to see Donald Glover blowing up huge is awesome. And Mystery Team is, without doubt, a purely Derrick outing, as their humour is 100% over this film. Sure, I’ll admit, it does run out of steam a bit in the last 20 minutes, but when it hits – it really hits (the whole strip club scene is gold, as is the hobo scene), and, as I alluded to in the beginning – what really makes it work is the fact that everyone (even the many, many people who insult the guys to their faces) just takes it as rote that the Mystery Team is an actual thing, no nods to the camera, no alerting the audience to the fact that “we are doing things that aren’t normally done”. And the whole film is all the better for it.
What can I say, it’s a funny film.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Ziggy Says You Have A 100% Chance Of Fucking Things Up
As I have stated in prior reviews (here, here), I like time travel films quite a bit. And, as I said, I really like time travel movies where shit fucks up...bad. Today’s film is the first film that I think of when I think “bad time travel”. Today’s film is The Butterfly Effect.
As you can guess by the title of the film, The Butterfly Effect uses a more chaos theory based mechanic for its take on time travel, and, much like that turn of phrase, it does not shy away from negative consequences. In fact, I can’t think of a single positive consequence to any of the time travel. In fact, just think of this as the anti Quantum Leap – instead of putting right what once went wrong, the wrong is just made even wronger for everyone involved.
Ashton Kutcher (I know, stick with me, dude is actually good – damn good, in fact) plays Evan Treborn, who finds out that he can travel back into past moments of his life to try and change them. Unfortunately, every time he tries to change an aspect of his quite fucked up childhood (or that of his girlfriend, Kaylee – Aimee Smart) not only does he end up fucking up the present for all involved, but ends up doubling, tripling and quadrupling the memories stored within his brain – causing himself physical and psychological harm. Eventually, he realises that he is the cause for all the badness in both he and Kaylee’s lives, and that’s when the cinematic and director’s cuts differ. So Evan travels back in time to the day he and Kaylee first meet as children, then acts like a complete jerk to her, putting paid to their friendship before it begins, putting them both on different life paths. Accidentally crossing paths in NYC, they have a slight spark of recognition, and then the film ends. So Evan travels back in time to when he was still in the womb, and chokes himself to death with his umbilical cord, thus making sure Kaylee and his friends can never meet him at all.
As you may have guessed, this is one incredibly dark, some would even say depressing film. It really has it all – psychological screw ups, drug addiction, incest, beatings, rape, prostitution, prison; to the point where some people could say, with good point, that the writer and director intentionally tried to cross that bleakness line. And yes, I will admit, there are a couple of points that cross from dark to ludicrous. But ultimately, it manages to stay on the “damn, that is some fucked up shit” side of things. Thankfully due to the actors involved; like I said, it’s really Ashton Kutcher’s high point as an actor, having never been as good before or since; but Aimee Sweet is always a good watch (she’ll never be in line for an Oscar, but she’s always a welcome addition to any cast). The rest of the cast is also great, Melora Walters and Callum Keith Rennie put in small but darn good performances as Evan’s folks and the keys to his power, Eric Stoltz as Kaylee’s father has never been slimier (and I would go so far as to call him one of the best slimeballs in movies). However, the surprise performance of the film goes to Jessie James, who plays Kaylee’s brother in their teen years – he is just plain frightening.
If you can let some jumps in psychology, genetic makeup and time travel rules slide, you’ll get a pretty decent watch. Just stay away from the sequels, which are just plain bad.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
10 Things I Learned From: Ferris Bueller's Day Off
- If you are sassy enough (and/or the unrestrained ego of a clinically depressed teen), you can do anything, to anyone and not suffer the consequences.
- Parades have the most lax security of anything. Next Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade – bum rush that thang.
- The most serene place to sit and think is at the bottom of the pool. Until your douchebag best friend pulls you free, that is.
- Charlie Sheen, despite what he says, has never been winning. Just ask Jennifer Grey.
- Even then, Alan Ruck was the perfect person to play Thurston Howell III in a remake of Gilligan’s Island.
- Parents in 80’s movies are truly the dumbest creatures on Earth – even moreso than the current crop of Disney parents. Those coughs don’t even sound real enough to be made by a synthesizer.
- In the 80’s, you could touch underage school children in public, and no one would bat an eyelid.
- Stare at this too long, and you will go mad. It is a scientific fact.
- John Hughes had some sort of Electra Complex that needed to be worked out.
- The film, as a whole, is kind of overrated to me.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
10 Things I Learned From: Revenge Of The Nerds
- Noone cares that the pies you are selling are little more than an inch of spray whipped cream if you give them surprise tits.
- Homosexuals care not for aerodynamics. As long as something is bendy enough, they’ll find a way to make it fly.
- Even the ugly, nerdy and fat want to join the Greek system, regardless of how much psychological torture the rest of said system put them through.
- Sorority chicks are apparently so horned up that they are unable to recognise that the man they thought was their boyfriend is several inches shorter and at least 50 pounds scrawnier.
- It’s apparently not rape if you are good at sex. In fact, she’ll be so grateful that you will be her new boyfriend.
- Contrary to popular belief, John Goodman was once a right royal asshole.
- The plight of the nerd in 80’s college is exactly the same as the plight of the African-American.
- The nerdier you are, the more skill you have at putting on a killer musical performance.
- It used to be really, really difficult to see ladies in various states of undress. It took a team of 6 men to do then, what it takes a webcam and a few minutes to do now. GO SCIENCE! (™, Tripod)
Monday, March 28, 2011
A New Beginning, and A Treat
Yes, folks, I am back. And because I am back and hopefully refreshed, you get to be witness to my very first audio review. It's Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son In Law. Enjoy.
Links mentioned:
Dolemite
The Human Tornado
Monday, March 21, 2011
State Of The Union, Part 2
So, regular readers of this blog know that I have suffered from a little burn out. And it’s not just this that has dropped – I write for many different places (well, for is maybe too strong a word) and it has all slowed to a nothing as well. I thought the spark had come back when I decided to write the Billy Madison SoC review the other day, and it was during that watch, I realised the main reason why I have fallen off here – there doesn’t seem to be a whole hell of a lot that I am in the mood to watch at the moment.
“But”, I hear you say, astonished, “are you not the Rain Man of movies?”
That I am, and I remain so. But I think I’ve been burned out on watching so many movies (130 for the year so far), which has affected my writing here, and in turn affected my writing elsewhere. So, I think I am going to reassess just how I write here – maybe work on cutting down my overall wordcount per review; I originally tried to get over 700 each review (sometimes it was a hell of a lot easier than others). Maybe I’ll bust out a few rapid fire reviews, get myself back into the swing of things. Hopefully that works. Maybe I’ll break my own rules and open it up to the occasional TV review. Hell, I might even see if I can get a video or audio thing happening – the kids seem to like the podcasts, so why not jump on that bandwagon, I say.
Either way, my burnout is going to come to an end pretty soon. It has to.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
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